War nicht nur die Cinema. Und es war im Original ein englischer Text, der insgesamt sehr lustig ist.
Kommen auf jeden Fall auch Adoy und Guenter vor...
Hat Cinema wohl die falsche Story gelesen. *g
Hier mal der Quelltext (in Anfuehrungszeichen). *g
Mit Intro und Ende vom englischen Poster Professor_Falken:
Being that it’s 1983 when this article was originally published and home video hasn’t engulfed consumers just yet, this jerk (who gives no byline) feels it necessary to recap ANH and ESB before launching into the most erroneous load of crap I’ve ever heard/read about Star Wars. In this recap he refers to the Millennium Falcon as a “rocket ship, a kind of ‘My Mother The Car’ in space.” He describes Darth Vader as “effervescently evil” and the explosion of the Death Star is called a “huge outerspace fireball”. So now you have an idea of how insanely idiotic this insane idiot is really. So the following is a verbatim account of this idiot’s ‘Revelation of the Mystery Jedi Knight’ from a rag I discovered in my buddy’s garage back in the day called ‘Star Blaster’. This is for my Star Wars nerd crew who couldn’t believe my claim about this story until I finally tracked down a copy at Celebration III…
“He is our last hope,” Kenobi says of Skywalker.
“No,” Yoda replies, “There is one other.”
The identity of this other Jedi knight will be pivotal in the third installment of the Star Wars epic. For this reason, Star Wars fans the world over have given endless speculation to the identity of the mystery Jedi knight. Thanks to the consultation of several experts and deep research into the lore and legend which makes up the Star Wars stories, we are able to deduce here the real and true identity of this knight.
First, let us consider every possible candidate. Princess Leia and Han Solo spring to mind, of course, but there is a key fact which halts further supposition along those lines: Yoda has had opportunities to come into contact with both Solo and Leia, and has chosen not to. While Leia has royal lineage which might, given other circumstances, make her a prime candidate, her consistent demonstration of strong mortal bravery has lent her an air of normalcy which would not be consistent with her new identity as the last hope of the Jedi knights.
Solo, the loner, is also out of the question. As a man who has always lived through his own cunning and shrewdness, he simply does not possess the air of majesty and magic necessary for such a hope.
Other candidates come to mind: Lando, the leader, in exile, of Cloud City, and Darth Vader himself after a strong rehabilitation from the crippling injury which made him the evil and hated leader of the Empire.
Lando, from the surface, appears a strong candidate. Through use of clever treachery, he managed to outfox the Empire in “The Empire Strikes Back,” leading to the escape of Leia and Luke. Without his help, the hero and heroine of this saga may have ended the sequel behind bars. Is he the saviour, the mystery knight?
No. The Jedi knight must have other weapons at his disposal than sheer guile and foxiness. Isn’t this a large part of what Yoda taught Luke? Indeed, a Jedi must know how to tap into the Force in place of his own contrivances. A Jedi who learns to lean on the Force for support has nothing to fear. For Lando, the possibility of this type of redirection of resources seems small, especially when taking into account the large margin of time he needed to rally his own guards against the fearsome storm troopers.
The mystery Jedi knight will not spring from any character previously introduced in the Star Wars saga. Rather, this character will rise from the planet where Han Solo is held, frozen into his carbon block. The planet, known as Guenter, will be the opening setting of “The Revenge Of The Jedi.”
In the second Star Wars we were introduced to Yoda, an unconventional character by any standards. Few would have expected the stooped little green-headed creature to be a commanding mentor to Luke. Yet the teachings of Yoda were valued more than Luke will ever know or understand-the creature is a true prophet.
Yoda’s race, nearly extinct at the time of Star Wars, is an ancient, extragalactic strain of being whose biological make-up is not easily understood. The creatures are reproduced in pairs-a type of couplet which allows for survival of the sparse race. When Yoda was born hundreds of years ago, he was born with an “ovoid,” a sort egg-like structure that glows a luminescent orange. At the age of twelve, in a manhood-type ritual, Yoda designed a rocket to launch the egg-a “brother” of sorts-into the cosmos. While Yoda lived out his life on the planet of his birth, the ovoid came to rest on another planet far, far away, where its natural defenses protected it from enemies and created an environment in which it could survive.
The purpose of the ovoid becomes clear in “The Revenge Of The Jedi” when after a prolonged illness natural to the life-cycle of his people, Yoda dies and is buried in a spectacular funeral attended by all the rebel anti-Empire factions. At the exact moment Yoda’s life passes away, the ovoid, light years away, begins to open. The emerging being is called Adoy-the one who will continue where Yoda left off, a somehow reversed spirit of the former Jedi master that has distinctly different powers that Yoda, but has a destiny-a need to fight for what is good-that is identical to his soulmate.
Coincidentally, the ovoid has opened on the same planet where the carbon block Han Solo is frozen in is being stored. It is in this way that Luke and Princess Leia meet Adoy, who they do not recognize at first as to heir to Yoda’s spirit. Adoy, after all, is bright purple, winged and large, with tumultuous laugh that ricochets through the planet’s snow-capped valleys; hardly a ringer for the reserved, green Jedi master. Luke and Leia see Adoy only as an ally who can help them rescue their friend.
Adoy’s unique skill allows the super-being to change forms almost at will. Through this natural bent towards disguise, Adoy is able to penetrate the heavily guarded Sternaugh, the palace of marble and glass where Solo’s carbon block is stored along with the captive carbon blocks of generations of rebel threats to the Empire.
Once inside the imprisoning palace, Adoy manages to sneak Luke in as well. The two together enter a spectacular underground vault, where they search out Han Solo’s carbon block. This is no easy task, in that generations and generations of carbon blocks are stored on top of one another, almost from the dawn of time. Luke is able to free many of the prisoners, many of them ancient colonial tribesmen, eager once more to undertake the fight against the Empire.
By the time Luke and Adoy find Han Solo, they have, at their disposal, an entire army, where before they had only a dwindling reserve of rebel power to cling to. The army marches out of its vault, overwhelming its captors, and then goes on to take over a local Empire rocket port, where they manage to secure the Empire’s death machines for the disposal of the rebels.
Caught up in this drama is the unfolding of the close relationship between Han and Leia. The separation has augmented their feeling for one another-but to give away more than this would be an injustice.
So, the last hope of the Jedis, Adoy, the alter spirit of Yoda, does indeed triumph over great odds. But this is by no means the final word of “The Revenge Of The Jedi.” There are man more torturous turns in the path to the happy ending awaiting this Star Wars trilogy-the first of three we can expect in the next few years.”
And there is so much more, the same unidentified author (the writing style is rather distinct) offers up “official” plotlines for then-unreleased Star Trek 3 (in this case the movie is worse than what is fabricated by this guy), Raiders Of The Lost Ark 2, and E.T. 2. Oof…
Jedi Council Forums - The misconceptions you had about Star Wars, when you were a kid.
wo hört man denn sowas?
Mit Furchbruch meine ich Durchbruch
Ich liebe sowas. 
Thanks for sharing!
